Pinkie Pie Goes to the Record Store
by TorseHits
Summary: Pinkie's favorite record broke, so she goes to the record store to get another copy, but some weird things happen at the store. Read to find out!


It all started when Celestia was peeing in my mouth. It was smooth like Sunny D, but tangy like real piss. It's a lot like whiskey, it's smooth on the way down, but it burns your throat. I had enough of the piss and Celestia flew away, so I walked over to my turntable to play my favorite album, Hold Your Colour. Unfortunately, I damage the record due to cutting it with my edge and spilling gallons of Mountain Dew and Cheeto dust on it. So I decided that the next course of action would be to go to the fucking record store, so I could masturbate to my record with peace of mind.

I unloaded my load and then went to Twilight's library afterwards to laugh at her for being purple. The record store was full of trinkets such as horse cocks, waffle irons, thermometers, and even the occasional Reddit poster. All of these things seemed great, but there was one reason I really came here, and it was the cute colt that worked at the register. He had a blue curly mane and tail, a soft blue coat, and big brown eyes. Suddenly, another colt walked in with a hockey uniform and an ugly baseball cap, he was so fat that when he walked, the ground shook, and all the records fell to the floor and smashed to pieces.

This colt walked up to the register and said "hey bby wan sum fuk?" and flashed his stack of MTG cards at the blue haired colt. The cashier began to sweat profusely and proceeded to put one hoof on his phallus, and with each stroke, he inched closer to the silent alarm button. As the cashier pressed the silent alarm, his creamy load shot onto the enormous stallion's face, giving him a wonderful complexion. The blue colt realized what he had done, and had to get the fat colt out of here fast, so he walked over to a crate and pulled out a record, the cover had a smashed strawberry on it. As the fat colt ran out of the store, he created an enormous earthquake, which caused the entire building to collapse, along with the local Magic: the Gathering store, and the hockey and baseball stadiums. And everyone died, the end.

Pinkie was in shock to see what she had just witnessed, and started making squishy scrunchy faces, and Rainbow Dash went inside the store to see what had happened. The bitches in the record store stopped and wondered in awe of the grace of krusty kunt for a brief moment, and basking in the presence of those lightning tanned cheeks. The cashier crawled out of the rubble and walked over to the pink mare, and said... "I got the nasty in my taxi, you need a lift?" The pink mare replied, "As long as you've got a hunger for the little Mexican inside my cotton candy cunt."

The colt fucked the pink mare in front of everyone, including children, and made her cum 200 times a day. The tidal wave of cum and shit was too much for the onlookers, so they began to contribute, and combined their powers into futa R63 Captain Planet. Pinkie fucked the cute colt and Captain Planet for mercilessly for hours, but the next day she got some terrible news, she was pregnant. Applejack came over and kicked her in the stomach, giving her an abortion. Then the fetuses all became spooky skeletons. The spooky skeletons started to chase after everypony, and the pink mare started to cry vaginal tears. But then Yugioh came and sent them all to the Shadow Realm with the no hooves for all eternity. Yami came back and battled the skeletons bayo style by summoning his hair persona and jerking the skeletons in bursts of shit and vulture penises. Skrillex appeared magically to add background music to the fight, MLG style. Then the Skrillex started jacking off furiously to gay clop, jizzing all over the entire battle. He came so much that the skeletons drowned.

Pinkie and the blue haired colt don't know what's going on anymore and Snoop gives them drugs, so Pinkie and the cutie colt began to smoke weed, but Applebloom snorted the smoke and got a contact high. Pinkie was hot from all of the burning hot cum pouring out of her, but something caught her gaze in the distance, it was neither man nor machine, it was Arnold Schwarzenegger. Skrillex noticed this and took a mask off that he was apparently wearing, and revealed himself to be Rob fucking Swire. Rob then set himself on fire and held his colour against the wall. Rob's phallus began to expand from his rage due to Skrillex being played, so Rob stabbed him with his dick and slammed down some phat beats like he was some sort of masochist. He said "Are you kids ready for my new album?", then Rob made a rip in space and time and The Beatles and MC Ride walked out. MC Ride then started playing his band's album, Straight Out of Compton. Ride then performed a fusion with Rob and opened the fly of despair, unleashing fat tracks the like that no man has seen before (check your privilege). Everyone was high at this point and all tried to jump into the fly of despair at once, causing the universe to collapse and time to end. All the universe was reduced to was the sound of a man saying "Number 9" for eternity.

THE END


End file.
